WELCOME!

UPDATE July 29, 2013:  Donna's second late husband Joe passed away Feb 1, 2013 due to complications from a gallbladder surgery.  She met Joe who was from Iowa in Christian Mingle, Upper Room prayer room with some other pastors at 5 am exactly one year and one week after the death of her first late husband Bart.  They dated long distance flying back and forth meeting for two years to get to know one another.  They were married only 5 1/2 yrs.  She is grateful to God, friends and family who have been so caring in helping her through this time period.  She is reminded that God never gives us more than we can handle and that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.  Their constant Yorkie companion Gidget also passed away on July 28, 2012.  But, Donna now has a pocket Yorkie named Piper who is one year old and full of energy!  At the same time period she also lost her 19 year old granddaughter Trying times in addition to the many losses experienced just before these recent ones.   People call her a Steel Magnolia, but she knows the real strength in her life is the Lord.

Donna Geertz is an ordained minister who lived with her husband Joe and their adorable 4 lb.  pocket Yorkie named Gidget in Florida.  She and her first late husband pioneered and co-pastored Heart To Heart Christian Church near Charleston, SC.  They were very active in marriage counsel and had a marriage made in heaven for almost 35 yrs. ... they were active in ministering to other pastor couples and their home was nicknamed "Jesus's Inn" ... they were very active in prison ministry and leading many retreats, services and conferences.  They also visited nursing homes and hospitals doing monthly services and serving communion and praying for the sick.  They also were involved in local missions, preaching and counseling.  Her husband enjoyed missions trips to Mexico and Haiti.  She has spoken in many church denominations carrying God's word of hope and restoration, and has led and been a sought after speaker at many retreats and conferences.  She is anointed in the area of deliverance, emotional healing and prophecy. 

Joe, was also an ordained minister and a teacher of the word of God.  He wroteseveral books and has did mission work in India, leading pastors conferences, among many other things in the kingdom.  Joe and Donna were artisans ... creating jewelry designs for people and toy breed dogs.  They were also involved in marketplace ministry.   They loved people and were grateful to be used in any way for God.  Donna's passion is counseling and seeing those in the body come to realize their calling in the Lord. 

Her new delight is writing blogs.  She now has 18 ... all having different themes, but with the same desire... that people would come to realize how much God loves them and that they have a purpose in life!

WELCOME TO
THE COMFORTER'S ARMS!

There is nothing more peaceful and relaxing than being in the arms of someone you love and trust. Every worry, concern and doubt seems to fade away in that place of surrender and dependence. As we come to Father God for comfort, He restores faith, belief, hope and expectation into our lives. Won’t you come with me to that place, and together we will find what we have been searching for.

Sometimes instead of running to the Lord in time of need, we run away.  I have been guilty of that myself at times, but I have found during the times that I don’t understand what God is doing, when I feel abandoned and alone, when I feel God is not listening or has given me way more than what I can take …even when I am angry at Him for what I perceive as a wrong towards me, even though I know in my heart he is perfect…..  that is when I find I need Him the most. 

I so desire to be real, open and vulnerable with you in this little blog,  and share the experiences I have had ... the ups and downs, the good and the bad ... the victories and defeats.  Sharing brings us closer.  None of us have arrived, we are all on a journey, and we were created by God to help one another.  After going through many trials and tribulations, I have found one thing to be true … God is faithful to help us through, and even when we can’t see it, and even believe the contrary… He does always have our best interest in His heart, He has proven that to me over and over.. and sometimes at the eleventh hour!    

I pray as you explore “The Comforter’s Arms”, that you will see glimmers of hope in the midst of despair, and the promise of new life and joy for all mourning.  May you be soothed and encouraged as you encounter life's obstacles, and I pray for those to surround you with encouragement and prayer in trying times.  Most of all I pray that you will find this to be a safe place to share your feelings, thoughts, questions, or any area you need God’s comfort.

Many blessings fellow traveler,

Donsie/Donna
6/7/2011

FOR LO, THE WINTER HAS PAST!

FOR LO THE WINTER HAS PAST!

SPRING HAS COME
4/4/12

 

The word below was written years ago during what I had thought at the time, one of the most trying times in my life...  Ha, ha was I wrong, lol .... But, I would like to lay the ground work first in this letter so you can understand what led up to the word. It was after several years of continuous trauma and overwhelming situations. After my father in law passed from Alzheimer's like disease, my mother in law came to live with us at our home, then moved to a small apartment where we also hired some outside care for her, after a fall and 6 months rehab, another move for her with another fall and then into a nursing home and her death. She lived with us for 5 years. All this time we were pastoring a church we had pioneered with my husband Bart who was my best friend in the world.

My parents were living in Florida at the time and we lived in South Carolina. My father had Parkinson's and my mother was caretaker. We were traveling to Florida to support her so many times we kidded that our car could be put on auto pilot and drive itself! Trying to give my Mom support and coming to terms with my father's deteriorating condition was difficult. In the meantime my favorite Aunt passed away, then my best friend, mentor and one of the elders in our church had a cancerous lung removed and we were her caretakers for a season before she went home to be with family and passed away. My husband and myself were so shaken by this loss as we were very, very close. My sister and brother in law both then had cancer at the same time and then my youngest son in his 20's cancer, and my son in law kidney cancer. Our life seemed to be spinning, and we could barely catch our breath before another incident seemed to occur. I was so unbelievably weary from the spiritual battles on all fronts.

My brother in law passed away but thank God my son, son in law and sister recovered with wonderful stories to tell. But, now my mother needed assistance and came to live with us and then to a nursing home. The selling of her condo and closing it down was so sad for her, and much work for us to set her up first in our home and then her nursing home. but we tried to make the best of it by having a get together for the children to take numbers from a hat and to pick and choose some of her treasured nicknaks and such. I was very close to my mother and it was so traumatic to see her go down hill.

We decided to try to make her last years the best we could for her, just as we did my husband's mother. We had movie night once a week with classics and popcorn, Spa day for toenail polishing and facials and such.. out on the town days and Sunday afternoon wings with a friend of ours and his two children. All during the time of caring for my mother, I was finding my beloved husband to be acting abnormally and after several trips to the doctor with several tests nothing could be found. In the meantime, my favorite aunt who loved me unconditionally and I could always go to passed away. 

Then my mother passed away and we were totally exhausted after taking care all the details.  We went away after her funeral and feeling perhaps maybe now things would calm down and we would be able to live again. But that was not to be. My husband was diagnosed with an inoperable stem cell brain tumor and died only six weeks after the diagnosis. Just months after my mother's death, I lost my dearest friend, my husband. The shock and stress was so great, I ended up in the hospital with atrial fib a few months after his death my heart was running faster than a runner's heart. The doctors wanted to stop my heart and then shock it back to life again.. but the Lord intervened and prevented that from happening. I was in shock, numb, devastated, reeling, overwhelmed, .. and trying to hold on to the Lord all at the same time. I KNOW it was ONLY Abba Father who kept me and carried me during this time and gave me the will to go on. My family and friends were incredible as they so loved my husband and it was so hard seeing them going through their own grief. My girlfriend would call me everyday just to see that I was okay. The Lord sent me a special friend who had been my first boyfriend at age 14 for many years ... during this time who also helped me overcome my fears and grief. We never know in life how we touch other people's lives. Just a kind word, concern, perhaps some practical advise, a word of life can help immeasurably to uplift a person who is in a place of despair.

The rest of the story, is that I found I could not face the reality of all the things that had happened in such a short time. I felt like I had been slapped in the face and wondered what I had done wrong. So, I ran for a while .. People go through the grief process in different ways, for me, I felt if I just kept my hours really busy and went from place to place traveling, then maybe it just all wouldn't be true. I traveled with my girlfriend cross country who was moving to California, and went many other places until I ran myself out. I sold my home and moved to Florida to be nearby three of my four children and their families who live in Florida, and other family. I filled much of my time helping and counseling other people online who were going through their own dark night of the soul and I still do find counsel rewarding as I always have!

I met a wonderful, Godly man who lived in Iowa and had gone through Bible College. We met one year and one week after my husband's death and married after almost two years of dating.  We were married almost three years after Bart's death in our favorite place in the Smokey Mountains Oct 17, 2007, in the darling little chapel I had renewed m 25th Anniversary vows with my late husband.. with our two little pocket toy dogs attending!! We now have just one dog.. Gidget, a 4 lb. Yorkie who is just the cutest little diva. Joe and I love seeking God and worshipping Him together and we sell the perfume and spa items he designs. We both design jewelry. Life for us has set new opportunities for us to trust God like never before due to the economy. We have found that nothing else matters, except for loving God and loving people. Sharing the good news with others and helping encourage the saints of God.

All things happen for a purpose. I am fully convinced of that, and the Lord has our best interest in His heart, even when we find that hard to believe. He will love us through all our sorrows, pain, our questions of "why", our times when we want to give up.. when we doubt, when we are angry with God.. in all our fears. He is God and His arms are there to bring us through the worst of times and the best of times... Blessed be the name of the Lord. I will be happy to pray for anyone who is going through their own "Winter" season when it seems like nothing but blizzards and everything feels cold and lonely and when it feels like an avalanche has hit.  Or perhaps you feel like you have been in a dessert for a long time and their is no water .. nothing is blooming in your life, you feel parched and barren.  God is our lily in our valleys.. He causes us to bloom and be a sweet fragrance even as we go through immense challenges.  He doesn't want us to go through these things alone.   I love the scripture in Song of Solomon when the Shulamite girl (a depiction of the beloved of Christ) comes up and out of the wilderness leaning on her beloved.  That is where we should all be coming through our most trying times.   It is the only place of true safety and comfort. 

Just email me donnatrex@yahoo.com

March 7, 2005

Hello dearest ones..

Forgive me for not writing in while .. I have been on a.. shall I say sabbatical.. anyway friends of God.. something NEW is happening in my heart and I pray it is happening in yours too..

A friend of mine, led a worship time last Saturday that was heavenly!! Our purpose was to come together for a retreat, and just lay aside all our agendas to worship at a pretty little house in the mountains of North Carolina. Our heart was to just be quiet before the Lord to see what He wanted to speak to us. Very little words, just worship and one on one quality time with God. No computers, telephone calls, computers, books .. just "sigh".. time with the lover of our souls.

As I began to enter into the presence of the Lord.. my mind kept going somewhere else to a word someone had told me just before i left for the retreat, whom I had not seen in very many years…"that I was tucked away, zipped in their heart" that I always had been and always will be..  It always amazes me how God seems to send those who will help us through rough times. I kept thinking about how precious that was and then the Lord told me "Donna.. you are tucked away and zipped in MY heart too... tucked away safe and secure, right here in the very center...  enclosed and encapsulated"...  People in our lives will come and go, but the reality is that we have a creator, savior and friend who is jealous for us and the God of the universe has us tucked away in His heart .. how amazing.  I had always know and felt this, but God was reminding me.

God's love has caused us to be in Him and He in us.. so we no longer see with our own eyes.. but are insiders looking out with spiritual eyes, We don't have to keep trying to figure it out.. if we see with His eyes.. the way He sees it.. we will be viewing things from a totally different perspective.. and in that place of safety in Him.. "death is swallowed up in victory (1Cor 15:54) " What a word.. especially for me personally with what I have been going through for the last few months.

I don't know what has been in a death process in your life, but in my own.. I can tell you quite simply .. I had not crossed over into resurrection life in a lot of areas... I was still so to speak spiritually in the tomb, in fact until very recently I felt as if I could not even breath. It was as if my heart had stopped beating. It was not until I started speaking to someone who had meant very much to me in the past that I could literally feel my heart start to beat again… the shock of my husband’s death right after losing my mother and all the many tribulations I had gone through before that was more than I could bear, I had no desire to want to live again, not that I would ever have considered anything like suicide, but I was like a zombie just going through the motions of life, but not really living...but... the Lord used my first boyfriend to help me realize there is always room for new starts. He doesn't leave us abandoned in our darkest hours, but many times sends us friends who are like what I like to call "Jesus with Skin on"!

God said to me.. "New life is coming forth.. can you not see it? New beginnings.. can you not see it budding forth.. tender shoots.. sure as Spring .. sure as I am the author of new beginnings.. it is happening.. and I care for my tender shoots.. I place a blanket of grace over them of protection".. We are in a place of safety and security as He is growing us up so to speak in this new thing He is doing.. I don't fully understand it, but I do know that He is IN IT. And I do know that eye has not seen and ear has not heard or perceived what God has in store for us. I know that he has sent this special friend for such a time as this as a blanket of grace over me. To help me look at life from a different perspective.  I believe we are in each other's lives for "such a time as this"many times, to help each other through some enormous situations.  Sometimes we connect or reconnect with ones that we have history with and trust, where we can help each other in the different  "seasons" we go through ... difficult circumstances, and transition times in our lives.  

Beloved friends... we are coming into a place of new beginnings.. it is NOT going to be business as usual.. for God is calling us to a new commitment, and new place of authority in Christ Jesus.. old dreams are dying and God is giving us New dreams ... self effort is leaving, old habits are leaving, old ways of doing things, leaning on our own understanding, old hurts are leaving, mourning, feelings of failure and disappointment... and His Glory is beginning to rain upon us . Spring rains. Isn't it exciting.. and just when we were at our weakest point.. This has become my very favorite scripture.  My heavenly Father has spoken this to me several times in my life and it has always been so precious to me:

Song 2:10-12 My lover spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.

The WINTER is PAST.. what an awesome word.. I had felt as though I was frozen in time cold and isolated .. what about you???? I am SO GLAD our spiritual winter season is passing.. can't you feel it happening? ... just like a butterfly who has been in transformation.. in a cocoon.. (did you know that the caterpillar goes into a transparent/translucent state before it becomes a butterfly?).. Some have felt like they have been in the pupa stage in the dark and feeling very alone and as though time has stood still in their yearnings for something incredible to have happen and it never did.. not knowing that God has called them to be a butterfly and to spread their wings and not be earthbound. I believe part of what is happening in our lives right now.. is that we are becoming totally transparent with one another and it is helping us come forth into the new place God has for us.. we are being transformed from the cocoon state to one of being a butterfly... and the cooing of the turtle dove is heard... how romantic!!!!! Our God has a way with words doesn't He?

Haggai 2:9 The glory of this latter house shall be greater than of the former, saith the LORD of hosts: and in this place will I give peace, saith the LORD of hosts.

Anything that God has done for us in the past.. all the good things.. are going to be surpassed.. and we will come to a place of peace... how neat is THAT?!!!

Isa 42:9-10 See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you." Sing to the LORD a new song, his praise from the ends of the earth,

What happened yesterday is past.. and yet He is doing New things.. how delightful!!

Isa 43:18-19 "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”

Wow!!! I love that... a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland..

Phil 3:13-14 But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Yea and Amen!!

And so.. dearest ones... that is where I have been... hoping you are all doing well .. I am praying that each one of you will experience this wonderful NEW BEGINNING in your own lives.. thank you for all your calls, prayers and love. I know that has been what has sustained me and brought me to this new place. please continue to pray for me for God to guide me and direct me.. .. you are important in my life and I am thankful to God for each and every one of you...

KNOW that no matter what you may be going through in life ... you are ALWAYS "TUCKED AWAY AND ZIPPED IN HIS HEART"

Donna/Donsie

Pastor Donna Trexler additions 4/4/12

Some comments I received:

Donsie: These words are so beautiful and timely, just like you. You have an amazing gift. I am deeply moved. You have a very keen eye and ear. Love Billy

How absolutely wonderful---and I needed to hear it! I am relating to everything you said and I'm loving it.

Let's try to get together one of these days. Let me know how and when, and I will make it happen.

Donna - This is so beautiful. Thank you. It is all true of course. We, as Christians, know it in our heads. We just find it so hard sometimes to move it that short distance to our heart. I thank you for putting so beautifully into words. I am at that place somewhere between head and heart and this was so wonderful to read and so very uplifting. I just keep saying thank you.

Dearest Donna,
Thank you for your always upbeat encouragement

The timeliness of this word for my own life is incredible!

Your wisdom forever amazes me, you are such an over-comer.  I want to be like you when I grow up!

Thanks all for the kind words.. I love you all ... Donna

TIMID LITTLE BIRD

 

This was one of the very first prophetic words I ever received from God.  I was in church one evening and I bumped into a woman whom I had gone to High School with.  We had known each other, but were not close friends.  I always thought she was so sweet and such a gentle spirited person. 

She shared with me that she had been hooked on alcohol and wanted to get her life back somehow, and receive healing.  She had fallen prey to peer pressure and the things of this world.  I told her she was in the right place to find what she was looking for, and that we would have her over for dinner that week if she would call me.  I gave her my telephone number, but for some reason, I did not get hers. 

While I was praying for her later that evening, the word below entitled “Little Bird” came to me.  What I mean is, I heard it in my heart, and knew it was God speaking it to me.  I was astounded that God was conversing with me in such a wonderful way for someone else, and realized how much He loves each and every one of us.  I knew this word was an example for people who were going through difficult times where it seemed there was no way out.

I never did see my friend again, although I prayed fervently for her, and questioned what I should do with this word.  As time went on, I met many women and men who had the same problem along with many other hard situations they were going through just as my friend had been struggling with, and decided to share God’s little word with them.  People would cry when I would read it to them, saying that it was as if God Himself was talking to their hearts which delighted me no end!!  Many said they were healed by this loving word.  So, I then had it printed out and gave it to people as directed.  Years later, I would leave it on the front table when I would do retreats or conferences, or women’s seminars.  It still is one of my very favorites from God.  Hope it blesses you today also.  

I always felt sorry for caged birds

 As a little girl, I loved to go to restaurants or large hotels that had birds in cages.  I loved hearing them sing, but in my heart, I wanted so much to open the cage and let them go free.  I still feel that way today.  They have a large bird cage at the Floridian Hotel at Disney, Orlando Florida where I have gone with my husband.  The birds are so pretty, but I always think how much happier they would be in their natural habitat.  We have been given the same natural habitat too, the ability to make choices and to be independent of shackles.

As I reread this word today, I could not help but think of the song, “She’s only a bird in a Gilded Cage”.  It was one my Grandfather and Grandmother would sing at family get togethers.  I always felt so sorry for the bird and years later realized the song was about a female who had sold herself out for an old man who had money.  I wonder how many of us have made cages of our own making by selling ourselves out to the enemy in many ways?  We were made to be free and to sing happy joyful songs of liberty.  Yet, it is so easy for us to entrap ourselves into bondage and to lock ourselves up, or allow others to lock us up with maybe words that hurt, or actions that cause us to feel we need punishment, or things that have been done to us that make us feel tied up and in bondage.  

Perhaps we didn’t marry the wrong person just for money, but there are many things in life that cause us to still be in a cage.  Maybe we just follow the crowd trying to be like everyone else, thinking that is the way to peace and bliss in life, when in fact, that is not the answer for us. We pretty soon lose our sweet song and forget the benefits freedom has in our lives. It does not even have to be addictions that keep us bound.  It can be things like doubt, despair, depression, envy, loss of faith, worry, feelings of failure, relationships, etc… 

So let’s decide today, that we will allow God entrance into our lives to heal those areas that have been heavy burdens and fetters that keep us bound and unable to sing a song .. God says He has “new songs” for us  ... I want to sing a new song... not the same old one … don’t you???  

Holy hugs…

Donna/Donsie  

LITTLE BIRD

TIMID LITTLE BIRD
WITH SUCH A SWEET SONG TO SING TO OTHERS,
TRYING TO FLY ON A FLIGHT TO NOWHERE

YOU TOOK A FALL,
YOUR WINGS HAVE BEEN BROKEN

HE WANTS TO TAKE THE TIME
TO NUTURE YOU AND MEND YOU,
MEND YOU THROUGH HIS LOVE,
NUTURE YOU THROUGH HIS WORD

AND WHEN YOU FLY THIS TIME,
IT WILL BE WITH DIRECTION FROM HIM

YOU WILL SOAR,
YOU WILL BE FREE IN THE SPIRIT,
YOU WILL FIND JOY,
AND A NEW SONG IN YOUR HEART TO SHARE WITH OTHERS,

HE REALLY WANTS TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOU,
LET HIM BE THE ONE TO REMOVE THE SPLINT
HE KNOWS WHEN IT'S READY

DO NOT BE FRIGHTENED,
HIS HAND IS GENTLE AND LOVING,
ENJOY LETTING HM TEACH YOU AND PAMPER YOU,

JUST BE WILLING,
FOR HE LOVES YOU AND WANTS TO HEAL YOU,

LET HIM BE YOUR FRIEND.

Given by inspiration of the Holy Spirit 1985
To:  Donna Trexler-Geertz
donnatrex@yahoo.com

©Donsie’s Dialogs

Click here if you want to hear the song,
She’s a Bird in a Gilded Cage: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EN_wsQwfd4&feature=related

 A Bird in a Gilded Cage
(Arthur J. Lamb and Harry Von Tilzer)

The ballroom was filled with fashion's throng,
It shone with a thousand lights;
And there was a woman who passed along,
The fairest of all the sights.
A girl to her lover then softly sighed,
"There's riches at her command."
"But she married for wealth, not for love," he cried!
"Though she lives in a mansion grand."
 chorus: "She's only a bird in a gilded cage,
A beautiful sight to see.
You may think she's happy and free from care,
She's not, though she seems to be.
'Tis sad when you think of her wasted life
For youth cannot mate with age;

And her beauty was sold for an old man's gold,
She's a bird in a gilded cage."
I stood in a churchyard just at eve,
When sunset adorned the west;
And looked at the people who'd come to grieve
For loved ones now laid at rcst.
A tall marble monument marked the grave
Of one who'd been fashion's queen;
And I thought, "She is happier here at rest,
Than to have people say when seen: "

(repeat Chorus)

BRAVE SOLDIER

A WORD FOR THOSE

CALLED TO LEADERSHIP…

Brave Soldier,

You have endured the heat of battle..You have stood amidst the firing, standing firm in Me, and holding the line.. refusing to give up or give in.  The smoke is clearing and you stand bewildered, wondering if the battle has been won, wondering if somehow you had failed.. too weary almost to care.  For the battle has been long and draining.

But, I your Heavenly Father come now to retrieve my own from the battlefield.  I will wash away the fatigue of combat, I will remove even the memories and reminders of war... my brave and loyal warrior!  I will roll away the reproach.. Yes, even the reproach you have been placing upon yourself... Questioning the outcome.. saying  "This is not finished Lord"..  but I say to you "Although there are many fighting the good fight  and their own personal battles for My sake, you have been one who has stood and withstood ALONE, moving forward only through spiritual eyes, listening only to my voice and command to go forth, and you have obeyed."  This other small battle is but a pebble in your shoe which I will remove easily. 

Come to me now...let me comfort you...let me blow away even the smoke of battle.  I come to take you to a place in Me that is free from even the sound of battle... into a place of safety and refuge...a place of solace where I bring my battle-weary.  Let Me heal the wounds and scars.. I will feed and nourish you with fresh food for your soul, new revelation of my plan for you, new vision and purpose, and you will regain strength again.  I deliver you from the struggle of battle for my yolk is easy.  I am the Lord of the battle.  This is the place of releasing all bitterness and strife.  This is the place to exchange bitter water for sweet. 

There is a place of refreshing where my Waterfall of LOVE will shower upon you peace and well-being.  You will be filled with joy and expectancy.  This will be a time of reflection, and as you dip into the clear pools of my renewing waters, you will behold your reflection, and in it you will see ME.  You shall KNOW in a new way that I have been with you always, even when you have questioned and doubted if you would ever see the promised land of what I have spoken of, and I am with you now to deliver you from every stronghold.  You will reflect upon my ever abiding presence.  You will walk with a new confidence; a new boldness and blessed assurance that this battle you have been in  has not been in vain! 

You have gone forth in so many areas in My name, and for My kingdom even in the face of great conflict and mocking.  For it is the enemy who is the accuser of the brethren and not Me.  My right hand will smite upon the cheekbone, those who have been tormenting you.  It will become evident that what you have been perceiving as failures, has merely been preparation for the doors I am about to open before you. 

And so my beloved sons and daughters, I clear away confusion about this matter, I remove doubts.. I want you to KNOW that I am with you, for you have continued to cry out to me.. which causes me to be well pleased.. ground has been taken from the enemies hand.. Victory is Ours!!!

Caringly,

Your Heavenly Father

©Heart To Heart Ministries

given to Rev. Donna Trexler  4am,8/12/04

by inspiration of the Holy Spirit

BROKEN HEARTS

BROKEN HEARTS

My friend Lynne sent the word below entitled “Broken Hearts”.She has been feeling a leading from the Lord to open a blog for women, who are healing from broken hearts. Of course men are included too.. especially men sometimes as they find it hard to reach out for a life preserver when going through hard times. Because they are not generally as interpersonal as women, they tend to have questions, but don't know where to go to have them answered. (I will give you her blog address as soon as she has it up and running.Just request the information at my email address at the end of this blog.

As I was thinking about this and feeling this would be such a needed and important ministry for my friend, I was also remembering the time in my own life after my late husband died, when I was going through a dark night of the soul, and adjusting to being a widow. No matter what kind of relationship loss or difficulty you are going through, whether it be the death of a loved one, divorce, hard breakup, separation, just finding it hard to keep up the fight for a relationship, recovering from a cheating partner, or other, the thing that remains the same, is that it can be devastating for the one going through it. It can turn your whole world upside down.

So, what should your main emphasis be during the loss or difficulty of someone of significance in your life?If you can wrap your mind and heart around these words you will become stronger and will gain wisdom,

“WHAT CAN I LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE”?

Growing is a natural thing, when we stop growing we become stagnant. All of our life experiences have purpose.Sometimes we do not understand the reasons, however if we will allow God in to our brokenness His will for our lives will begin to be revealed.I can share with you a truth, with all I have gone through in my life, The Lord has been my light in the darkness. When all is said and done the KEY is to take our broken and bleeding heart to our Creator for mending and letting Him do the work of recreating us from within. Jesus is wanting to get to the roots of problems to heal us. Some of our situations are due to our partner dying and others are due to so many other reasons. In most cases, having one near to us die is not our fault, but as with me, there were still lessons God wanted me to learn in the process of healing.

This poem below entitled “Broken Heart” is such a blessing, and I love the part where the child snatches the broken toy/heart back thinking God is taking too much time repairing it!I am praying today that each one who has a broken heart will present it to the Toy Maker for repair.May you lay down your broken and tattered heart to the Lord for restoration and experience a complete work. The changes need to take place in us. I pray you will come out of this experience revived with new life and purpose and a blessed assurance that you are never alone with Christ.

BROKEN HEARTS

The Lord is Close to the Brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18)

As children bring their broken toys
With tears, for us to mend
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He is my friend
But then, instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone;
I hung around and tried to help
In ways that were my own
He didn’t do at all the things
I thought that He should do;
He didn’t mend my broken dreams;
He didn’t make them new
In fact He seemed quite nonchalant,
As though He didn’t care
So I increased with holy zeal
My intercessory prayer
Watching, waiting for His hand
To do what I had prayed
But nothing I could say or do
Helped Him on His way!
At last I snatched them back and cried,
“How can you be so slow”?
“My child,” He lovingly replied,
You never did let go!”
(James Ryle)

My main ministry during the time after my late husband’s death was to men and women who had lost someone near and dear to them through either death or hurtful breakups. They were trying to learn how to adjust after the loss of someone significant. Going through the process of broken dreams and commitments is so painful. Much that you have hoped for seems to have gone up in a puff of smoke. Letting go and letting God sounds like simplistic words when your heart is breaking, but God’s love will help you and it is the KEY to your healing and wholeness.

In this article I will share several ways, and things that might help you in your own time of distress.These are just suggestions I have found to be healing over the years and also, in my own experiences.

The mourning process is slow and there are many stages one must go through to become whole. Emotions can go up and down like a roller coaster and finding solid ground while reeling at the same time is not easy.At first you might be in shock, feel numb, cry all the time, or not be able to cry, perhaps you will not want to eat, or will eat everything in sight or go through times of both. You may want to run to a closet or a trip to hide and lick your wounds, or perhaps you will want to go to a friend and pour out all that your damaged heart is saying... maybe both.Allowing yourself and giving yourself permission to grieve is a healthy way to ease the healing process and will bring you to a quicker and more complete recovery. There are awesome benefits in times of solitude.

Learning how to let go and letting God take you through all that is necessary during this time is difficult, but crucial. It is like a wound that has been infected, left to itself, it can only get worse, the cleaning of the wound is painful, but leads to health. The healing is much faster if we can release our pain, and give God the reigns. I have always thought the thing that is especially needed during a time of healing is what I call and have preached about “A Jesus with Skin On”.Many churches have ministries for people who are going through losses.Something that helped me in this process was to talk with and empathize with those who were going through what I was, or chatting with people I had history with who knew me, and had wisdom and compassion for my plight.I could call them day or night, this was a true blessing.I pray for friends to help you through this trying time.It is important however, that we seek out people who will help us to move closer to God and not just wanting to play cupid to find us a “fix” to our situation.Some find solace with friends they make in chat rooms during lonely times, (I like christianmingle.com), but there is a need to be wise and discerning (see note at bottom).

Another good thing to do is to realize you need to give yourself a break.Expecting that you will be 100% healed after a traumatizing occurrence will just cause more grief.Just give yourself room to breathe. Some people are under the old assumption that when you are hurt, just pick yourself up and get over it.It is not that easy in reality.You can help yourself by adding some activities that are fun for you and you alone.Take yourself and Jesus on a picnic; go get your hair done, a massage perhaps, a day at the beach or mountains with your favorite new book.You get the picture right?And, keep telling yourself “this is NOT forever; I will get better with the help of the Lord”.Oh, and another thing I have found to be so helpful is to read the Psalms for nighttime for peace, and the Proverbs in the morning for wisdom.There are 31 chapters in Proverbs, so one for each day of the month! Make up a journal of your thoughts and the things you have been meditating on during this new journey you are going through. Share these thoughts with someone who can pray with you.

Hearing words of comfort are important and necessary, but during this time, a broken hearted person feels so totally alone and abandoned and even scared, especially at night when all is quiet. At those times we can especially feel our aloneness. The times when it seems no one is there to understand what we are going through or to comfort us. I so encourage men and women to turn on a CD and play some worship music.Realizing that Christ is our answer to all our “heart” problems is the key to our healing.The answer is not a man or a woman for our wholeness, but God wants us to become whole in Him. People who are in need of a mate / boyfriend / girlfriend /companion to make them complete will find in time this is never the way to happiness.This type of thinking only leads to bad choices and actions which will not bear good fruit in our lives.

Two halves never make one whole.God desires for us to become whole in Him and to allow Him the time to prepare a mate for us, handpicked and ordained of God.But first and foremost, our heart needs to be sincerely sold out for our King.Feeling lost during this time is an opportunity for finding our true identity in the Lord. He is a jealous God, and our way to completeness and joy is to come to that place of understanding and peace. Take the time to really get to know your Creator, the lover of your soul, and the time to become comfortable in being alone.Some people have never been alone for any extended period of time. Come and lavish everything you were, are and hope to be at His feet and come to find your greatest joy in Him. If we will be quiet and open, we will begin to find out how to be content in the Lord no matter when or where. When we are alone it gives us time to reflect on our lives and to contemplate where we have been and where we are going, what is important in our lives and realizing God is enough for us.

My friend wrote a word for me when I was going through a dark night of the soul experience I will post it now .. so much truth in it. It was not just for me, I believe, but for many as she has shared it over the years with those going through rough times, and it is as fresh today and healing as the day she received it from God. Thank you JoAnn Parrott for loving me back to health.

Here is the song birthed this morning for you,

for the Bride.I love you.
You are altogether lovely

IS IT ENOUGH FOR YOU?

Is it enough for you, just to be my friend
Is it enough for you that my love will never end
Is it enough for you that I died to set you free
Is it enough for you to place your trust in Me
Is it enough for you when the way isn't clear
Is it enough for you to know that I am near
Is it enough for you that My Word is your light
Is it enough for you to guide you through the night
Am I enough for you when your heart is filled with fear
Am I enough for you, My love dries every tear
Am I enough for you, what else would you desire
Am I enough for you when you pass through the fire
Am I enough for you when you think it's all in vain
Am I enough for you to comfort all your pain
Am I enough for you as my life through you is told
Am I enough for you as you come forth as gold
Say I'm enough for you just to be your friend

Say I'm enough for you, our love will never end

Say I'm enough for you, hold My hand & walk with Me
Say I'm enough for you, My Beloved Bride you'll be.

Song from the Lord given to JoAnn Parrott, 2/25/98
Simply Sonshine  1998

My footnote: We could lose it all, but if we have our precious Jesus, that’s all that matters.. God is teaching us all to come back to our first love.. and to be content.. help us all to refocus on what is important and eternal.. help us Lord to continue to trust you even when we don’t understand.. that is the TRUE essence of what FAITH is all about .. I want us all to permeate with His essence of trust .. trust and obey ..

Helping others by volunteering is a prescription I give to those going through the stress and sadness of the death of a relationship. Please remember that meeting other’s needs is a good way to help us heal, as in the process we take our attention off ourselves on to others. Helping others is something Jesus did on a daily basis. It doesn’t have to be some huge feat, simply praying for someone is one way, or perhaps make a cake for a person going though difficulties with the words “God Loves You” and putting it on a plate that does not have to be returned to you, babysitting for someone who needs to have a night to themselves, serving at a soup kitchen.There are so many ways we can serve and volunteer.

Questions you may want to think about and ask yourself during your healing period:

Please note: Some of the questions below are for people who are going through breakups / divorces / separations and such. I have another set of questions for widows / widowers and those who have lost their partners.If you will send me an email and request them, I will be happy to send them to you.    donnatrex@yahoo.com

Where do I find my identity? Is my identity in money and prestige? Do I find my identity in the person I am with, good looks etc.. Do I find my identity in who God says I am?

Where can I put all these intense feelings I am experiencing? Am I bringing my broken heart to the Lord, or am I trying to fix it myself? Am I seeking out people who can support and energize me during this time? Am I verbalizing what is going on in my heart and mind and asking for prayer
Am I realizing I need to give myself time and a break and just breathe in and out for a while or am I running from this pain?The only way I could cope with the loss of my late husband was to run.It was so overwhelming to me, I could not stop running. Even a life threatening bout of arterial fibrillation didn’t stop my running.I felt if I kept going, maybe the nightmare would all go away, and my heart racing was an outward example of what was happening inside my emotions.Only God’s love and compassion can heal our racing hearts.He is our Good Shepherd and reaches out to us while we are trying to hide the truth. At this time, we need to come beside the still waters and be still and quiet before the Lord.

What am I learning from this experience about myself?
During this time of self evaluation and discovery, you will need to ask why this all happened so you don’t repeat the process if this is through a break up.Being totally honest with yourself is imperative. No blaming him/her or yourself here, just a real evaluation of how this happened. If this does not occur and a real heart change does not take place, we will most likely have a repeat performance of events. You may not be able to save the relationship you are in, but being brutally honest with yourself and most importantly having a teachable spirit for change will be what will enable you to heal from the inside, out.

What were the events leading to this breakup? Did the relationship start by breaking up a marriage or other relationship?Where there differences on how to use money? Did it start in rebellion such as someone leaving home to run away with a boyfriend/girlfriend?Was it a co-dependent relationship?Were you a clinger or non communicative? Did you talk too much and not really listen. Did you kep the romance burning? Were you a responsible partner? Did you go above and beyond and overboard for your partner? Were you on the same page culturally and spiritually? Did you try to control your partner? Where there drugs, alcohol, abuse illicit sex involved or addictions?Was there a big age difference? Children problems?

It will be important for you to understand why you chose your former partner.Of course everyone wants to feel they were in “love”.But, real love is not what many think.Real love is patient and willing to wait, it is committed, it thinks of the other person first, willing to admit when wrong and many other things. These are a few reasons why people marry: Lust and not love, not willing to wait for the right time, but seeking self pleasure. Some people have a fear of being alone? Perhaps you were infatuated with your partner, his/her good looks, personality, or position?Did he/she have a salary that could give you financial security? Were you abandoned or not made to feel special or number one growing up or in other relationships and desired someone to fill that void?Maybe you felt you could change this person to what you wanted?Seeking the reasons why can help you prevent the same thing from happening.You may need some personal counsel or help to get to the root of your broken relationships.
 

Have you forgiven everyone involved?Forgiveness will pave the way for freedom for you.When something like this happens it is common to play the blame game.You can blame the people involved, your partner, yourself, others, maybe even God.Unforgiveness will keep you bound to the situation and will prevent you from moving forward.

In any case, making it your priority to find out everything you possibly can about getting yourself ready for a healthy relationship and about good solid and common sense advise will be a great tool to help you step in to the new and wonderful life planned for you by God’s hand.

PS As a side note: I met my husband Joe in an intercessory prayer room while chatting on an online dating service (christianmingle.com) a year after my late husband’s passing. I met many wonderful people who were struggling with the same things I was.I am still friends with many of them and chat with them regularly. My purpose was not to seek out a mate, but to chat with others who were going through what I was online. So, there are success stories!! God is good.

Common sense will tell us to be careful with online dating service.There are many people out there ready to pounce on unsuspecting, desperate and hurting people.I have seen this happen to men and women I minister to.Many men and women are just seeking someone to fill their own loneliness, or there are those who are gold diggers who read the profiles very carefully seeking someone who might have money.

For example one man I know ended up sending money for a woman from another country to come and meet him... goodbye money, goodbye counterfeit woman.Here is another scam just as an example..A woman met a man with a fake preteen son and bogus pictures of someone who was supposedly wealthy and worked in South Africa. After a brief online encounter he professed his endearing love for her and, within a short time wrote and told her his son was sick unto death and needed immediate medical funds. My friend sent me the email and we checked this imposter out and reported him to the online service.He had a new blog up with new pictures within a day.There are literal rings of people all over the world who do this sort of thing. These types of people prey on the naïve and broken hearted.So there are surely piranhas out there. A good rule of thumb, don’t give anyone pertinent information about yourself, your passwords, bank info, ss #, private email addresses, etc.These bad boys/girls have learned the art of patience and will take their time getting to know their victim and all their personal information.

My prayer for you:“I am not sure what I can do for you, or what I can say, but rest assured that Jesus loves you, and I will surely pray”.I love you dearest ones who are going through broken hearts, and send a huge cyber hug to you right now (((((HUGS JUST FOR YOU))))) !!

Donna/Donsie copyrighted material 5/3/11
email me at: donnatrex@yahoo.com